Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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