The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
