Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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