shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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