It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
