Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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