Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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