It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
