this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
