You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
