I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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