whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We have started to decorate penises.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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