4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize