Heybabeimwearingurpanties
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
