Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
