I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
