What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
