this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize