I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
