I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We are two peas in an std pod
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
