Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
