can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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