Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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