you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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