it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
