I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize