In the future we'll all be gay
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
