As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
