uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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