I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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