and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
