Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
