i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My cat gives me a boner
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
