i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize