where am i from again
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
