it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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