one might say we're banned from that church
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
