if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
