my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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