So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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