i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
