Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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