therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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