the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
