your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
