All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
