Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The power of my boobs compel you
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
