Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
