I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
