Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Alive.
So much puke
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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