if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
