So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
