More tranny stories later!
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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