Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Of course I have a pirate flag
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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