sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
