So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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