also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
