you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize