We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
