It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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