I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
