you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's shark week go big or go home
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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