do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
