i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
