I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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