I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
