what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
