that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
