im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
