I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
