oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
bring money and cleavage
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
