3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just had sex bonerless
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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