quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
